Helping someone in Denial

Convincing someone who is in denial about their addiction to acknowledge their condition and seek treatment or rehab can be quite difficult. However, the saying that you ‘can’t help someone who won’t help themselves’ isn’t entirely accurate. There are actions you can take to assist someone in: starting to recognise and accept that they are struggling with addiction understanding the repercussions of ignoring their addiction ultimately being open to receiving help. This process is not easy and may require a great deal of patience and determination. We possess extensive experience in this field and have successfully supported many individuals facing similar challenges. Below, we have provided some guidance and encourage you to seek assistance.

2. What to say to someone who has an addiction issue

Whether you have previously attempted to talk about addiction with the individual you are worried about or have yet to bring it up, you can still make a positive impact by initiating the conversation. Discussing addiction can be incredibly challenging, as it often leads to arguments, dismissals, or even accusations and blame. By carefully considering how and when to start the conversation, and by choosing your words thoughtfully, you can enhance the likelihood of a productive discussion. If your first attempt to address the topic doesn’t go as planned, don’t lose heart. You can try again, and it may take several attempts before your message is truly understood. It’s important to focus on expressing your own thoughts and feelings. This approach allows you to convey how your concerns are affecting you and your life.

Statements that start with the word ‘you’ – like ‘you drink all the time’ – are typically best avoided. They tend to come across as accusatory and are more likely to provoke defensiveness, denial, and blame. On the other hand, statements that begin with ‘I’ are often more acceptable to the listener and may be received more positively. Helpful phrases might include: ‘I’m worried about you,’ or ‘I can see the pressure you’re under and want to help.’ Engaging in a conversation about addiction that leads someone in denial to acknowledge their problem and seek help is challenging. There is professional guidance and support available on how to approach an addict who is in denial. Our team is here to discuss this process with you and provide free, confidential advice and support, whether over the phone, via text, or through direct messaging. Please feel free to reach out. Additionally, we can connect you with professional counsellors for advice or to arrange a formal intervention, where you can be supported in showing your loved one the seriousness of their addiction and encouraging them to accept treatment.

3. Strive to recognise and modify your own actions, reactions, and behaviours.

There’s a saying that many find beneficial for those connected to someone struggling with addiction. It goes: “I didn’t cause it, I can’t cure it, I can’t control it.” Embracing and regularly reminding yourself of these ‘three Cs,’ as they are commonly known, can be incredibly helpful. However, accepting these principles is often much more challenging than it sounds, especially considering the guilt, fear, and worry that those who care for someone battling addiction frequently experience themselves. What you can control is your own behavior, reactions, and actions. This is not an easy task, and it’s completely normal if you sometimes feel unable to manage it due to your own emotions, which may include anger, resentment, or sadness. You might find it helpful to: avoid bringing up the topic of a person’s addiction when they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs, utilize positive reinforcement to highlight the moments that bring you joy, like the enjoyable times spent together when they are sober, remove yourself from the situation if tensions rise or an argument seems imminent, identify and steer clear of enabling behaviors, which could involve making excuses for the addicted individual’s actions, lying on their behalf, providing them with money, or purchasing drugs or alcohol for them, seek assistance for any children who may be impacted by the addiction of the person you care about. Adfam could be a valuable resource, as they provide a list of organizations that support families affected by addiction. None of these actions are simple, and it’s crucial to be gentle with yourself if you falter while trying to implement any of them.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to make mistakes too – Helping someone in denial

None of the actions mentioned above are simple, and it’s important not to be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake while trying any of them. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to err as well. You should really consider trying to: seek advice and support for yourself – living with addiction can be stressful, distressing, and it affects everyone involved. think about whether the addiction is putting you or anyone else at risk, and if you need to take measures to distance yourself, report the situation, or remove yourself or your children from the home. This doesn’t mean you are abandoning the person you care about. You can still provide care and support from a safe distance if that’s what you choose to do. If domestic violence is a concern, there are many resources available to help.

The Government guide – Helping someone in denial

‘Domestic abuse: how to get help’ offers a wealth of information and contacts. Next steps when confronting denial of addiction Reaching out for assistance is crucial when someone you care about is dealing with addiction, and there is more support available than you might think. Our compassionate and understanding team is ready to provide free, confidential support and advice regarding addiction and treatment. Don’t hesitate to contact us today. Other resources that might be helpful include: Five signs of a functioning alcoholic How to help an alcoholic Living with an alcoholic